The day sh*t, fell out of the sky.

People are familiar with the story of the chicken and the piece of sky that fell down... or how lame men use the following pick up-line “hey angel, are you hurt? I swear you just fell out of heaven”.. but have you ever literally seen sh*t fall out of the sky.
My dear people, that's right, it happens. Literally.

Whilst studying, we use to park in a hospital two blocks down the road. We would have to walk this every morning. Every Afternoon. Even the occasional evenings.
On these little walks, we had to dodge the forceful beggars, the self employed parking attendants (who swore your car was NOT parked in the street), racing speed drivers taking corners at 120km/h amongst a lot of other life threatening happenings.


This one late afternoon while walking back to our car, there were no interruptions, no threats, nothing. It was a good start to a weekend.
Myself, my brother and another friend, were all happy-go-luckies.
THEN, as we were driving in the middle of three lanes, this ball of something came directly from the sky. Straight down. No angle. Just straight. It seemed to be a commet of some sort.

But as is came closer to my windscreen, our facial expressions changed as slow as the moment seemed. Utterly confused. Moment of silence. It just came directly for us, as if my car was the chosen one. As this thing hit the windscreen at one hell of a speed, it managed to disassemble itself over the entire windscreen. Once we managed to make out what this mud seemed to be, I tried wiping the windows clean with my wiper. It was one clingy, sticky, muck piece of gunk.

Picture done by me :)

The air vents were quickly consumed by this hideous smell. A smell of a thousand dead rats, in one massive garbage dump from the darkest part of earth known to man. What started off as hysterical laughter almost ended in 3 suffocated teen-kids. Our biggest mistake was to open the windows... the smell did not leave the interior of the car, the smell swept inside the car. Quickly we were looking like three robbers, as we tried to cover our mouths and noses with any item of clothing we had on.
What made things worse is that we were in peak our traffic and the next petrol station was quite some time away.

When we eventually got to the station, we all fell out of the car. The attendant came up to us, and asked me what was on my windscreen. I told him it was sh*t. He laughed, and did not believe me until he stepped a little closer and got the whiff of death first hand.
We all stood there laughing, crying and half mortified. The attendant couldn't even stand close to the car, he had to spray it down with a hose at a distance, while we all stood our own distance trying to get some fresh air.

Eventually we thanked this brave attendant for his help and happily got back into the car – WOOOF – as I started the car, the remaining smell had its last attack on us, the remaining poop smell came through the vents, and left us laughing hysterically.

After this most random event ever, I could not manage to stop myself from laughing when someone would tell me how horrible their day was and using the saying “today was the worst for me ever, it was like sh*t falling out of the sky onto me...”

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