*SLUR SLUR Jaimie Seagull*

I worked at a golf club as a waitress-*slash*-bar lady for 7 years. I was there towards the end of high school and through all the years of studying. I worked there to make extra money that I could spend on the clothes I wanted, as well as paying for all my social events I always attended.

I will never ever forget my very first day there. I was so nervous and excited at the same time, but once I got there I realized that I will be working in a male dominated environment. It was so daunting in the beginning. All this put pressure on everything I knew: my sharp comebacks and all the liquor brands I have been familiar with.

There was this one table that I had to serve. I didn't want to. But had to. I was so scared. So with the all the nerves I had on my shoulders, I slowly made my way over to them.

While I was writing down their orders, I could hear everyone's orders, expect for this one guy sitting at the table... 

All I kept hearing him order was a “slur slur Jaimie Seagull”. At this club they served a drink called a “Steel Wicks”, so I presumed that this “slur slur Jaimie Seagull”one was something similar to that, but with a shot of whiskey.
I went up and down, backwards and forwards from the barman and then to this drunken slurred 40 year old man about three or four times. Eventually when I went back the last time to clarify his order the man shouted at me: “what's so difficult about getting a Single Jameson and Lime!”

Obviously I had the whole golf club looking at me and could hear them thinking: Stupid waitress.
I walked away embarrassed and slightly demoralised but brought back the right drink and took away no tip.

Moral of the story: Try and learn some kind of drunken language online before you start working in a bar.

Lucky for you, I have actually Googled the different types of drinking languages.
On the Urban Dictionary site, you will be either surprised and/or delighted to know that there are quite a few of these alcohol-influencing-languages:

• Beerlingual - Being able to speak any second language, fluently.
• Zapalese - Heavy slurring (probably the case of the man in my story above)
• Courage - Classified as a language? In my own words: when the small guy believes he is strong and big enough to take on the 6 foot bloke in the corner.
• Suiplap - The classic Afrikaans word. I think this one is pretty much self-explanatory.

Claudia Jones

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